Unconditional Love

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." -Romans 8:38-39 

I have been struggling with this verse all summer long and apparently all my life. Part of all the change that the Lord has been doing in me during this past year is helping me accept His UNCONDITIONAL love- a concept I have not yet grasped (I am sure that grasping it is going to be a life changing experience). 
I usually am a big fan of analogies, and God never ceases to surprise me by communicating with me through them (I do believe that God speaks our individual languages).


"My blessings and love are pouring down on you at all times (no matter your status) but you are holding an umbrella every time you feel unworthy. Remove that umbrella. Do not move it... REMOVE it. I am here. I always have been. I want to teach you to receive no matter what the circumstances! When you look back at your life, realize that it was you who was blocking Me and My graces. When did I ever say no to you Joy?"

I constantly shunned Him out!

Ouch! The thing is, that I never thought about it that way! 
I just realized that I have that umbrella open almost all the time... that is except during retreats and peaks of spiritual life (and that doesn't last long- but Oh how refreshing His rain is!). 
Upon pondering that thought, I am noticing how unfortunately I have been leading my life. DROUGHT. As a consequence, I am always looking for love outside of Him and acceptance and that is an extremely tiresome and un-gratifying lifestyle. I have strained my relationship with God with my perfectionism. I feel I have to be at my best to deserve a drop of His love. 

Oh! Isn't His love the loveliest?!

I was always told that nothing stands in the way of God's love except myself and it seems I have allowed every little thing to separate me from the source of Life. 

I am moved by this Love: all I have to do is close that umbrella and feel the rain! No prerequisites, no conditions, no nothing. I am speechless. Speechless. This liberating feeling compares to taking the first breath after having struggled with drowning in the deep waters. He is here, He is always here. 


From now on, whenever I do not see God and His work in my life, whenever I feel alone and do not feel His love surrounding me, I am going to look up and make sure I am not blocking Him in any way. He is here and He wants to love me no matter what. He is here loving me simply for who I am.

To be continued...